The art of not feeling empty
We all feel that we are missing out something in our life. No matter at whatever stage of life you are, the feeling of emptiness lurks around the corner. Although, at times we are enjoying – like being productive at work or having booze at a party with friends, the excitement of the moment only tends to make us forget that void, for a temporary short period…like a drug.
Then, when you are going to bed sleeping alone or when you are not thinking about anything, the emptiness lurks back slowly and slips into the mind. Before we realize anything the emptiness has conquered the brain fortress and taken us for a ride into darkness.
Then, we think we need to fill that with something. So, we tend to go out. Date and fall in love, marry. We make money…more than we ever had. We shop more clothes and furniture. Buy new electronics and upgrade to a gold plated toilet.
But, does that suffice? No, we trade almost half of our life filling up these spaces in our brain and in the end, we start maturing (we think we have matured, but we haven’t. We only harden in our beliefs). Then we might turn to spirituality and enlightenment and not what all sorts. The spiritual gurus use this emptiness to leverage it into business promising us enlightenment.
They promise you that the spirituality is the only way. That-all life is an illusion. They do become successful in changing your life’s perspective. They fit in you a different lens to view the entire world. But…the emptiness? It never went away.
And, you tend to fall for that, because you are desperate as fuck to fix that emptiness. At least you think, it will be all over…soon… a few more years may be and we will all make it. We convince ourselves.
So, you grow old doing meditation and all yogic stuff, expanding on your knowledge resources, until your hair turns white, your skin sags and wrinkle. And, finally when the disease has ripped you apart from inside, your mental will, all extinguished, you lie on death bed thinking whatever you chased all your life- love, money, power and sex… all that was just shallow. Life was so empty. There was no meaning. On excess, this feeling becomes a magnet for feels of insecurity, low self-esteem and depression which is quite a mental torture.
Where was the fix? Where was the issue? Or there was not any?
Although, we can replace that with a temporary activity like love, we can never escape the void. It’s preprogrammed to haunt you so that you keep you moving, hunting for novelty. It’s not a bug, it’s a survival mechanism. It’s responsible to make you unhappy and discontent with whatever you will do or whatever you have done.
Because, nature doesn’t give a fuck as to how you are happy. Its effort is primarily focused to keep you in moving and alive, than happy.
And, there is no turning around. You can’t fight back this feeling. It will be like punching yourself on the nose because you hate your crooked nose. Know that it will be there no matter what you do and know that it can never be fixed.
So, running away is never the solution. Staying and acknowledging this feeling, is.
This is in a way relieving and motivating. Acceptance remains the balm for every wound.
Don’t believe anyone including yourself who promises you to get rid of this feeling. They are always selling you something indirectly.
So, as it sits on your shoulder while you are engaged in something know that is the brain science and there are some things which we can’t do anything about it except acknowledging it, just like your ugly nose.