Tag Archives: Dating

Why you can never love yourself.

You need people to validate you; you need people to tell they love you. You want them to touch you and assure you that they are going to keep it like this forever. Its a bitter truth. Because, you can’t survive on self-love.

No matter how much we talk of self-love its all superficial. You go to movies alone. You buy yourself an expensive coffee and think that it’s self-love. Then, you update it on facebook that you are doing this all alone and that living solo is best.

You add hastags like #self_love #solo #fun. This in itself is a indicator that you can’t live without telling people. You want them to hear you out like a girl who thinks she is independent but, deep inside she needs constant pampering.

The current Internet culture stresses too much on self-love which I don’t think is a bad thing. It is good that we take care of our health, we look good, learn guitar. But, it is also true that we feel accomplished once people admire our improvement. In short, if self love is a car, then people’s love is the fuel. You love yourself more when people love you.

We are social animals by instinct. Nature forces us to stay with other people. Because, in groups we have greater chances of survival. And if we isolate ourselves, nature punishes us with depression and psychological traumas. That’s why self-love can never over power the confidence that you gain when people validate you.

It’s okay to treat yourself once in a while. We need our own space too, which is also a part of self-love. But, we can’t continue doing it forever. Look deep inside.Deep down inside. Your mind knows you can’t live alone.

 

Closed Relationships are a myth

There is nothing called as closed relationship.

According to the definition, in a closed relationship, you don’t date anyone except your partner and it is his duty not to cheat. The word ‘duty’ hurts me.

Well, relationships aren’t relationships if they are not based on the principle of freedom.

If it isn’t that way it becomes bondage. In bondage how do you find your relationship fulfilling? That is the main reason I say closed relationships don’t exist. People, who say their relationships are closed, tend to smother themselves after sometime.

Because one of them or may be both of them try to possess each other and keep them in chains. They get mad if the other person treads a bit around other girls. How do you call this love if you have to love someone as a duty or just because someone should not get mad at you? If that person is going to be yours, they will be… but, by their choice and not yours.

Two birds who were flying high suddenly find themselves in a cage. They might even love the enclosure at first but, since the freedom has been denied, their individuality is neglected. They will find each other irritating. So, why not let each other stay free and sit on a branch by your own will.

Any type of relationship whether it is love or friendship is all based on liberty both give to each other. They don’t enter into each other’s personal privacy until invited for. Just because you love them, doesn’t mean you own each and every bit of it. Because, when you respect the other person’s privacy and stay aloof they will themselves share it with you, out of respect for your conduct.

A sign of authentic relationship is when you give the other person the ability to cheat on you but, he or she doesn’t.

So, if you are having a closed relationship you might have to think again if it is a relationship at all? The reason people say they both are in a closed relationship is because both are insecure. They fear that they will lose the hard-found love. So they possess and bind each other not knowing that love comes only if it is internally driven and not externally forced.

A little possession out of love is fine. It’s healthy. Saying “You are mine and I am yours” is very romantic. But, if you allow such seed to grow, it will soon turn into a poisonous plant that will kill your relationship. So, have a tab at that emotion.

So, if you are really feeling better with this post you can move on into an open relationship now. It doesn’t take time. Just split second decision and you are done.

How many times have you stopped your partner from doing things which you thought isn’t acceptable? May be you should stop forcing the other person after a little persuasion (emotional blackmailing too!)  Because he/she is of your age and he is equally capable of decision making.

Allow the other person the freedom to move around. And drop this idea of closed relationships because if you both breathe fresh air, both of yours individuality will remain unharmed. Then, who will want to give up a relationship which gives lot of freedom and growth? Don’t you think such relationship is more fulfilling and sustainable for a long time?

And yes you both will be together forever not by each other’s choices but, by your own choices. The best gift you can give to your partner is absolute freedom.  🙂


Copyright © 2017. Powered by WordPress & Romangie Theme.