Just because you are emotionally sensitive doesn’t mean you are weak

There is a category of people in this world and if you land in this category you will know it. Anything that is being said or done to hurt you, affects you immediately.

You are just like that sensitive radio which picks up music instantly if brought into coverage.

Ofcourse, you won’t cry or show your emotions in front of people.Your face will be stoic and hardened like a rock. But, it will be pretending in the end. You can try to hide it. You can cover your face with fake expressions.You will feel bad about yourself that you are affected so quickly.You will unconsciously tell yourself that you don’t give a shit about what the other says or does.

Really? Look deep inside. Still more inside.

You are afraid to face the deepest person inside you. Because, you know what- You actually give a shit about what the other person said or did. People who don’t care don’t go on telling everyone that they don’t care.

You actually want to express what you felt but, you are afraid the other person will abandon you.You are afraid they will get repulsed because you pick up emotions very easily.

So, you bottle up everything inside. Keep it locked deep inside your chest, until the emotions turn into poison and start affecting you physically and psychologically.

Thats the worst thing about sensitive people. When you see a man or a woman getting affected immediately, you mock him or her, tease them for being so emotionally weak.

You tell him to take back his tears. But, for emotionally sensitive people it’s so hard to hold back tears. It’s a different struggle altogether. You want to vomit but, you have to hold it back just because other’s don’t like it. You are crushed between the social pressure and your mind wanting to express.

Insensitive psychopaths will never understand. How will they ? They lack empathy. They lack the ability to place themselves in other’s shoes and feel things. I am not judging them. There is nothing wrong with them. Let them be. The world needs all types of people.

But, if you are emotionally sensitive just don’t change yourself for the sake of validation. Because, when people tell you, you are weak, they are just implying why aren’t you like them? But, what can you do. You can’t ask a plant why are you sprouting only yellow flowers. It just does. It’s inherent nature.

If you are unaffected by emotions you have a psychopathy element in you. It doesn’t mean you are strong. We all know innumerable people in our life who have been affected deeply. They have let the pain pierced them completely. But, they bounced back. How faster you recover decides your strength and not how deeply emotions affect you.

All the beautiful literature and art originated from emotionally senstive people because,they could explore that another dimension in life. So, it’s only weakness if you don’t recover from it. Else, you are blessed to be emotionally sensitive.

Compatibility doesn’t matter in relationships

It does not matter how much compatible you are with your partner. What actually matters is how you can manage those differences between you.

When people say that they are with their partner because they share same values,habits and behaviors they are assuming that their values,habits and behavior will remain same in time to come.

How will such relationships survive if they are depending on compatibility?

The way a person perceives the entire world; the way person behaves, changes a lot with time.Look at the person in the mirror. Look who he is now and then look who he was 5 years ago.

Don’t you see a drastic difference? When I look back in my past I don’t see myself… I see another person in younger body. What I was back then, is gone. Today my outlook has morphed and matured to a different level. Habits, values and perception have changed so drastically.

I don’t know about tomorrow. But, all I can tell is that, I will be definitely someone very different than who I am today. And at the rate at which I am changing I guess, I will be needing a new partner every six months if I rely on compatibility.

Compatibility is a temporary state and therefore, a weak foundation to built your relationship upon. Instead, I have realised, learning to manage differences is much more important.

Accepting the person the way he or she is, is more important. You can be from different planets all together, she must be liking to eat insects and you might be liking to eat rubber but, yet you can be together if you can manage and respect your differences. Compatibility will never be an issue.

But, if you can’t manage differences, upon slight change in compatibility, you will doubt whether you both have a future or not.

 

High standard of living vs good quality of life

I once heard a story of a rich man who was in his thirties. He possessed everything a man could have- a big house in a high profile area, a luxury car and rolex watch. And he wanted more.

Once, it happened that he got into a verbal fight with a beggar who would regularly sit outside his house. He didn’t like that. So, the rich man decided to show him his place and mock him of his poverty.

The beggar,finally frustrated with the argument then pointed out “What is the use of your wealth, if your wife sleeps with your driver?” The rich man was taken aback.He was busy earning wealth,travelling places and working long hours, that he had no time for his family.

Since, beggar had no work to do the entire day, when the rich man would leave for work or would remain absent, he would often see the rich man’s wife going naughty with the driver.

This might be a good example of  high standard of living but a poor quality of life. If you don’t have your relations in place. If you don’t have time for yourself. If you can’t take out time for your hobbies, what is the use of gold brick in your locker. You become a decorated vessel but, all empty inside that makes  a hollow sound.

Does it mean a high standard of living doesn’t make any sense?

A ‘good quality of life’ is like a burger and ‘high standard of living’ is like a ketchup sauce. You can eat the burger without a sauce. It’s not compulsory. But, you can’t just eat the sauce alone(I am saying this assuming you are a normal human being) .

Learning to create a good quality of life is much more important than a high standard of living. Much important as a foundation upon which you build a house. 

If you don’t have good friends you can trust , if you have a wrecked family, if you can’t take out time for yourself, if you are constantly stressed, maybe you need to fall back and ask whatever you are doing makes any sense or not? 

A ‘high standard of living’ will always compliment your life like a sauce to burger. It can never be a whole-and-sole being of your life. Once, that you have the burger, you are ready to try different flavors of sauces.

Dealing with “Who am I?”

It’s dangerous if Existential Crises ever happens to you. Existential crises is a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of life : whether this life has any meaning or purpose.

If you look at an average life it has a common template: School, College, Job, Marriage, Raise up children, Retire, Die.

But, it so happens that while you are busy doing all the chores in your life, you become distant with yourselves…as to why you are doing all these things. In the end you realize you would die and everything would vanish forever. People will remember you for your deeds for a month or so. These people I am talking about can only be counted on your fingers. Rest would forget you the other day of your funeral itself. Even if they remember you won’t be here to see the honours bestowed upon you.

I can’t explain how torturous feeling is this. For the last few years I had been struggling to find answers to my existential crises. I didn’t feel like doing anything. Motivational books and media failed to motivate me. After all, what is the point of living a life which is point-less?

The search for meaning of life threw me into a greater turmoil. When you are brought up by parents who make you feel special all along the way, it is quite a steep downfall to know that you are not special after all.

I have used religion, isolation and distraction to move away from such questions. I used to watch movies, engage in my work and splurge on food and travel to escape from feeling this emptiness all around. Somehow the feeling never resolved and it would come back . And when it would come back it was scarier than before.

Look down for the answers on internet or other resources, they will recommend you meditation or ask you to find a purpose in your life. But, what can you do about it when you have already realized that life is pointless itself. Once mind expands, it doesn’t go back to its contracted dimensions. Its like going back When people say that we give meaning to life, they indirectly imply that life has no meaning.

The question almost brought me the brink of suicide and total isolation from the world. My ambitions shrunk as I didn’t see any point in that. I would freeze myself and curl up like a prawn in the corner of my room not feeling any interest in the world affairs.

Then one day it dawned upon me while sipping on a cup of coffee. A sudden answer popped. It didn’t answer my question…rather destroyed the question itself.

Now that I have realized my life is pointless, and if I am feeling suicidal because of that, why do I want to throw it away? Why not just embrace whatever it is?

You see the apple in front you. You don’t ask why it is red in color. You don’t ask why such shape. You rather just eat it. That is how you deal with life.

Since, then that void never cropped up. I have realized that even if there is a purpose to life, even if God exists, it will be beyond our human comprehension, atleast as long as I will be alive. And I honestly don’t want to wait till the apple rots.

We don’t know what makes us happy

She had curly hair with big eyes and thin body frame. Every Sunday she would come to take guitar lessons from me. She used to work in a MNC which she always hated.

After every session, we would talk about how life has changed after college. How life has become monotonous. Since, I was also working as a professor I shared the same vibes of boredom for my institution.

Since, her job was located outside Mumbai she would often say how she missed her hometown. Every weekend she would come in the city and she would curse how her job and job location sucked. She would often say how much she is looking forward for her contract to end and return to Mumbai for the job so that she could seek final happiness which she had fantasized.

It has been months since, we have met. That day when we happen to coincidentally talk again, I heard she has shifted back to Mumbai. She has got a job back in hometown with good pay and she is closer to her family. But, now she tells everyone how much she misses her previous location.

I want to call her stupid. But, I won’t. Because, in the end we all are stupid. And when all are stupid then who is stupid?

Pay a visit to a mental hospital and you would see that all patients treat each other as normal.

How we define being normal is different from how they define being normal. I am pretty sure when we visit a mental hospital they all must be laughing at us thinking we really need psychiatric treatment.

The thing is we don’t know what makes us happy. Just because you have a great IQ doesn’t imply you have a great EQ (Emotional quotient).

What is available to us always seems inferior. And we are always looking far away thinking how beautiful it is on the moon. So, you work hard to move away from the earth. You finally buy a space ship with all your hard earned money. Because, you think the conditions that will make you happy are much better on other bodies.

But, when you land up on the moon, you spend the few days in excitement and when you look back on to the earth, the earth looks so beautiful with all shades of green and blue; you wished you had never left that place.

This often happens in relationships. I had known a guy who had come to me for help. He was depressed, sad and anxious.

He told me “I was in a relationship with a girl for two years and soon got bored of her. So, I broke up with her because I felt, I wanted to explore life. She cried that night but, I was firm on my decision. And I broke up. I did all sorts of things I felt was restricted in relationship. Soon, the emptiness caved back and I was feeling alone than ever. Exploration wasn’t much of what he had expected. But, now when I asked her for getting back together again she denied me in a cold manner. I have realized, I love her so much. I want her back. What should I do? Tell me some psychological tricks!”

I didn’t comment on this. How could I help? I was pretty sure if he went back to her he would have gotten bored of her again.

Sometimes I do feel like not wanting to help humans. Because, human mind is cunning…sometimes intentionally or unintentionally.  And you don’t help the cunning. If you feed milk to snake, it’s still going to turn into poison.

I am no exception. I often want to run to the office when I am home. And when I am at office I want to run home. I at times take my parents for granted and ignore my friends. Is this what I am going to do all my life, I wonder.

I fall into the trap of being ungrateful. But, I have to make myself aware. They say the only thing you can love anything is to know that it could be lost.

Mental relativism is the most important thing you could teach to a child. Because, this is how he will stop looking for happiness by hopping from one place to another; or one person to another; or one job to another. If we could only differentiate between what is pleasure and what is happiness!

Enjoy the amazing Datsun redi-GO

Cars always excite me. One of the main reasons is that they signify adventure, get-together and happiness. I often happen to keep an update of every car around me. Most of the cars I see through are usually common in design and features except a few modifications.

I scroll through the directory of the cars as if through the face-book feed. But, Datsun redi-GO catches my eye. It signifies.Fun. Freedom. Confidence. The ultimate Urban Cross – Datsun redi-GO – the capability of a crossover with the convenience of a hatchback.

Datsun redi-GO

Image credits:

This car is a car which will definitely catch an eye of every person on the street. I would want to take this car out for a spin for these features:

Yukan design:

These days cars have a typical design. Of course, you should never judge a book by it’s cover. But, no matter what the cover is equally important. You would never want to sit in a rickshaw with a BMW engine. But, anyways what is amazingly sexy is the exterior design. The design is sharp and sleek extruding lean and dynamic muscle. Besides, it is not only the design but, also the material of which it is made. The exterior design adds to one hell of the sexy look to the car that will turn eyes over the street and people will admire the person sitting inside the car.

Spacious interiors:

Its not only the exterior that appeals. Datsun has made sure the people inside feel equally comfortable and proud to have to drive a car like this. The interior consists of modern dash layout, powerful air-conditioner and sporty fabric. Audio system adds equally amazing experience.

Performance:

The best thing is that this car doesn’t compromise on anything. The mileage of this car is 25.17 kmpl which is quite affordable and convenient for most of the Indian people. The I-SAT engine makes sure of the knocking-performance and long urban travel. The small turning radius makes it comfortable to drive car in urban crowded cities of India.

The best place I would to test this car is in the Mumbai city at midnight when I would swift through the roads and enjoy the nightlife at the same time. Traveling through the Datsun redi-GO at midnight in Mumbai is a deadly combination for fun and enjoyment.

In Mumbai, it happens that the streets are too crowded. In traffic, the only thing that can comfort you is your car. With it’s powerful audio system , interior spacey comfort and AC- conditioner I am sure I will be able to enjoy any situation in the urban area. Besides, U-turn becomes a problem because when you frequently do it, you have to deal with reversing and forwarding the car which is quite hectic. This car solves this problem with it’s minimal radial turn.

Who wouldn’t want a car like this? The urban blues are beat here itself because when you enjoy the interior conditions and comfort then no matter what the urban traffic issues are, you become more comfortable in dealing with such problems.

You might want to look at the full features of this amazing car at it’s official website. Ready.Set.GO! @DatsunIndiaDatsunIndia #rediGO

The world of Facebook Dating


Online dating is the new practice of searching for a romantic partner via a dedicated website. It became virtually easy for people to search via internet. However, the dark side of online dating has been that the identity of the other person is completely anonymous. Although you know his or her name, you would never know who the actual person is. It was difficult to find authentic people as you would never know who you would land up with.

As many people can fake profile, the search was for the best secured and verified online dating. The best way is to use Facebook for dating. Since, it’s easy to know if the person is authentic or not. There are a few tips to know if the profile is fake or not.

The facebook profile is probably fake if:

  1. If you see no profile photos other than celebrities or irrelevant images. Probably that person is trying to bait people into thinking they must be good-looking as them.
  2. If there are no tagged photos with her or his friends.
  3. If there are no comments other than compliments on their photos mostly from strangers who he or she have trapped into accepting their friend requests.
  4. The person has virtually no information about his whereabouts and interests.

Though it has it’s own dark side, Facebook for Dating is probably the most safe juncture on internet because it is virtually easy to verify a person’s profile. The easier side being, you get to know a lot about a person. Mutual friends, events and common interests make strangers more comfortable to approach each other.

Of course there are other online dating platforms through which you can connect but, it’s almost easily understood that nothing can be compared to the authentic database Facebook possess. Almost everyone is connected to this website.

I remember a few days back meeting a stranger girl via facebook. She would often comment on my guitar videos that she would often get notified via a mutual friend. She was beautiful and told me she wanted to meet her since, she was also a singer.

Isn’t it amazing? When we met I saw a good romantic potential in her since, we carried same interests.

On face book there are businessmen, artists, scientists but, I believe no one has been yet able to bring together the singles interested in finding a person who might be interested in dating each other.

Showmeinterest.com is a website designed to bring such people together who are looking for friendship, marriage or dating. The work is made quite easier by a signup and easy to follow instructions which will get you started in no time.

Besides it’s 100% free. Click on the link and wait no more to get started. Start looking for the potential partners. Goodluck.

My Ideal Yatra – Trip to Rajasthan

Ninad, Sanjana and Veera were my best friends during college times and the fact that we would seperate, prompted us to take out one last trip. On the night of convocation, we all friends decided to meet up for dinner and discuss our details for the trip to the magical lands of Rajasthan.

We started to search for itinerary on the internet as Veera opened up her laptop. As we tried to mismatch, cross-check and jumble up all the itineraries by various travellers we finally shortlisted a few places. We had a total of 9 days to travel.

I was pretty excited since, it was my first trip out of the state and I had never been to Rajasthan.

We had booked train tickets of Jaipur Superfast express. We had plans for Airlines but, we wanted to relish the journey on the way to Rajasthan. You get to experience cities and people closely only with trains and not airplanes.

Jaipur SF express takes 20 hours approximately from Mumbai to reach Rajasthan. But, those 20 hours were pure bliss as we didn’t sleep the entire night. Sanjana had bought with her a pack of UNO cards. Ninad’s mother who cooks awesome chicken biryani kept us drooling as we all four pounced on it.

There was another big college group from Mumbai itself which made us miss our college days. We slept for around one hour in the morning but, the dawn introduced us to the vast fields as we couldnt recognize which place we were. We soon learnt that we were reaching Jaipur and despite what we have heard, Rajasthan Government has managed to resolve water crises in Rajasthan despite being arid. Although, Tourism remains the main occupation of the state.

We checked into the hotel Apple Inn and we were warmly welcomed by the authorities. Apple Inn was one of the best hotels I ever visited in my life not in terms of infrastructure but, the way they provided exclusive hospitality.

As we rested for a while, we planned to visit a few places on that day. On that day we managed to do Albert Hall Museum, Birla Mandir and Jantar Mantar.Since, we were falling short of time and we wanted to go Jodhpur we decided to packup from the capital of Rajasthan and leave for the next city.

We had arranged a bus to the city of Jodhpur. We managed to meet lots of people during the journey as one couple happened to be from the states of Manipur. They shared their kang-ngou with us which is different vegetables stir fried with traditional spices and it made a mark on my tongue for months to come.

Jain Mandir

At the Jodhpur city we signed in to Hotel inn which was another great hotel. In Jodhpur the stay was longer. So we managed to visit a lot of forts including Mehrangarh fort, Jaswant Thada, Umaid Bhawan Palace Museum and Jai Pol and the blue city. I have to admit that visiting forts during the evenings was an excellent decision since, we get to see a totally different shade to these places.

The Jodhpur city was memorable and we had already spend 6 out of 9 days. The last city that remained was Jaisalmer which is a desert area totally. Situated a few Kilometers away from Pakistan border we were very excited to see how it would turn out.

We had decided to sleep inside tents amidst the desert as it would be a totally different expereince. I have to admit it was certainly not a happy experience, it we never regretted it. We had a campfire that night with other tourists that night as we conversed with each other our experiences of life and bonded well.

The temperature was dropping. Although I had expected weather to freeze I actually underestimated how cold it would get. That night it was so cold we couldnt sleep besides having so many blankets. The temperature was still dropping and we were to the hilt of our tolerance. So, we opened up the bottle of whiskey as we all drowned in the happiness.

Next day we did camel ride and experienced how it feels like in a desert. It’s different when you see in movies but, if you are surrounded by sand everywhere its a different experience altogether.

As we were done with the city we decided to return back to Jodhpur. Although we werent feeling like going home but, still consciously decided to move on. We had reserved the last day for shopping as we had our flight with Jet Airways from Jodhpur city.We shopped bangles, Rajasthani Sarees, wooden carved Key-chains, Rajais and a lot more.

We decided to have our last lunch and the famous Dal-baati. Our legs became heavy and we didn’t wish at all to move back to home but, with heavy heart and losts of memories we did. As Sanjana, Ninad and Veera sat in the airplane we all looked at each other with the content smile as then we got engrossed in looking at the clicked pictures on our cam.

Camel feeling bad that we are leaving :D

Photo Credits : Ninad Gaikwad
This post as been written for Yatra.com which is today ranked as the leading provider of consumer-direct travel services in India.

#Yatra #Rajasthantrip #IdealYatra


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