Becoming outcome independent
I turned 24, this February. The years 23 and 24 are pushing me through metamorphosis. By reading, you gain knowledge, by experiencing you gain wisdom. The more wisdom you gain, your perspective becomes different towards life. So much happened in past few years .Though physically I am still young, I feel like a 50 year old inside. The experiences transformed me.
I had few plans in my life back then, as to what I would do, who I would be with when I would be 24 and 25 but, the fact that the reality is unexpectedly different than what I had thought it to be.
And if you ask me if the transformation is good or bad, I did rather keep mum and be neutral about the circumstances I am going through. I can’t describe how my life is. It just is. Becoming non-judgmental about circumstances is one of the pieces of wisdom I ingrained during my experiences.
Something similar I learnt, is to be out-come independent. You do things for the sake of passion and love. If you put certain expectations from it and if it doesn’t turn out to be real,the fall from the top is real hard.
Of course, now people are going to tell me I am a coward to run away from this fall. They will say “You will learn only when you fall” and whatnot. But, you need to understand that when you put million expectations from life and life fulfills only a couple of them, the chances are you are going to fall again and again.
And for how long are you going to do this? You are a human in the end. You are a mortal. You have a limit to everything – your willpower, your resistance to negativity, your mental strength. There comes a point when you are no more elastic and then you break down. Those who say that this isn’t true for them, are lying or either they are not human.
You can carry a certain amount of weight as a human. But ,no matter how strong you are you are going to be crushed when an elephant walks over you.
Being outcome independent can help you to manage your fall. You do things for the sake of doing because you love it.
Think about it in terms of career. If you are doing something just because you love to do it in the present, then you don’t care about anything. Then who cares about the future, the past? When the present is so beautiful. Success becomes a side effect of it.
Think about it in terms of love. If you love someone in the present, then why worry about past and future. Just love. Ultimately future is nothing but, succession of all the present time you are spending together. Then marriage becomes a side effect.
Of course there is also a chance that success might not happen, the marriage might not happen. But, you never wasted that time together with your love, with your work. It was worth every second.
I have realized – Stay wherever you are. Don’t drift. Focus on your breath. When was the last time you felt the air through your nostrils? You were busy focused at the outcome, to look at the next thing which may or may not happen.
The world is huge and massive and with so many complicated variables affecting your life. You are planning your life on a couple of variables. Tomorrow you might become a person who wins a lottery or you might be someone who gets killed in a car accident and then after few days people forget all about you. In either case you had no control over things.
Think about this. If you are not today who you had planned yourself to be five years ago… you won’t be this person after five years( or may be no more alive).
Priorities will change, perspective towards life will change, your philosophy towards life will change, what matters to you most… will change, people in your life will change. But , one thing will remain same- doing what you love in the present.
And when the life ends, you will look at it like a collection of short stories in succession, beautifully woven like a necklace. And that necklace will be the most beautiful ornament you will be wearing when you bid adieu to this world.