in relationships

Never knock the door of relationships more than twice

In any sort of relationship never knock the door more than twice. It is respectful and humble to be the first one to approach the other person. But ,not more than twice. It is time you step back and go to your work.

Because, any relationship is always a two sided work. Have you tried to balance the see-saw with you – the only one sitting on one end and the other empty? If you single handedly decide to support the relationship it is impossible. More than impossible, it is a waste of time.

I have friends who would soil themselves out desperately trying to get their ex-partners back. Even if they could see no efforts from the other end, they would still continue to exhaust their energy into the black hole. In the end they only become successful in pushing them away. And also destroying their own self-worth which is often the reason for suicide.

Remember this one thing. If you are the only one who plays on the see-saw you are doing it all wrong. You need to back out of the relationship.

Jealousy and possessiveness are already defamed reasons for the destructive relationships. But, desperation is another grand killer. Whatever happens, knock the door twice and then stay back and hold on to your self-respect tightly. Let your ego come out and let it stand in between you and them.

It is essential if you want to save yourself from emotional turmoil. Self-love is not possible without a little bit of ego.

Because ,you don’t want to be beggar in the end. Seen how beggars will persist in front of you until you don’t respond. They will say the same words again and again. In the process you don’t succumb to their demands, you ignore them. You will move to some other place. But, then they will follow you. Each second you harden and become more and more resistive to the other person.

Then a time comes when your anger bursts and you scream at them to leave.

Now, imagine yourself as that beggar. Just that now you are begging love and forceful attention instead of coins. With this perspective in your mind do you think the other person is to be blamed to reject you?

I often love to keep in touch with my old friends. It happens that they forget me so I knock on their door. I message them asking about their whereabouts. But, believe me the moment I get sluggish response, I retreat and I never go back into their space.

If there is anything long lasting in this world it is your self-worth and individualism. This might sound selfish.

But, only when you protect your self-worth and individuality will you be able to flourish in a relationship. Because now you aren’t pissing off the other person. The moment you lose it, the relationship cracks like a nut.

In fact self-worth is the fuel for sustaining  relationship. And if you are still not in any relationship and if you happen to keep these both attributes, you will soon find a partner you can fall in love with. And if you are a beggar I bet you will never fall in love. Even if you do you will fall for a sadist.

Before love and trust comes respect. For creating respect, self-worth is the raw material. After all people will love you only when you love yourself. They will only value you only when you value yourself.

And when respect is there, love and trust will follow.

So, next time someone ignores you or responds you in a feeble manner, back out. Pat yourself that you were the first one to approach. Your soul is humble enough. But, make sure you don’t play the role of a cheesy salesman on their door.

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