I always thought life to be linear in nature. It feels as if we are travelling from one place to another. But, if we closely look we aren’t travelling in life. We are actually moving in circles.

If you consider the transition of childhood to teenage to adulthood to old age you will think its moving ahead in life but, if you are associating your emotions to it, it is not.

In the initial stage you want that thing and that becomes your starting point. How are your emotions at this point? You are living in the fantasy world that your life will be much much better once you own that material or a person.  That becomes your starting point of the circle.

Then you start your journey to attain it. You work hard, manipulate people around you and push your limits to attain that point. And you finally do it, your hard work pays off and you manage to own that car or attract your crush you have been waiting for. This becomes the ultimate high of your journey.

Once you attain it- whatever it might be you go back to the square one. You feel the void inside you again. Your belief that everything will be fine once you get that person or thing crumbles upon. After all your partner nags you, fights with you and kills your freedom. You always thought once you get the car you will be happy forever. But, now it feels the car is just another possession.

Once you start the journey, you think after hundreds of days you will reach somewhere distant and you think you have progressed. But, you are journeying on earth. The earth is circular and hence, you come back to the same place from where you started.

You do this umpteen times and think consistently that what has happened to the ultimate fantasized dream you always thought of where everything is just perfect and you have worked hard for it. But, in the end void comes back even when you have everything you only dreamt of ten years back.

This is the circle of life. You start from point A and don’t move towards point B as we think, but, we return back to point A after a time.

Click on image to enlarge
Circle of life
Circle of life 

I suffer from such kind of existential crises meaning  that you don’t understand what is the meaning of life. Why are you living when, what you all are doing is moving in circles? You are simply not going anywhere.

This doesn’t only apply to the poor or middle class. Ask the super-rich men they suffer from the same thing. The feeling which when we start things, journey and return back to same point feeling empty doesn’t only apply to the poor but, also to the rich. And if we look from age perspective at every point of age you confront such kind of question in your life.

You might think the rich are happier than you. Its not. And I am not saying this because I am not rich. But, I have seen their problems, enquired about them. And believe me the emotional intensity of this circular path of life remains same for every person on the earth as long as you are not a monk and you decide to give up on everything.

Monks know this and hence, given up this life of circles. They prefer meditating in solitude. But, I feel at some point in their life they might also be going through circles. After all enlightenment is also another goal for them.

Ask a married person how his emotional intensity varied throughout and you will notice a circle. Ask a person who is extremely successful. They all go back to the same state after they have attained it.

Lesson learnt is we have no-where to go in life. Doesn’t mean we practice monk-state. But, to understand how stupid this life is. And in the process how much do we sacrifice for the thing that we might be ultimately happy tomorrow.

To understand, that the present is the ultimate happiness. Success is a good evolutionary strategy but, a bad happiness strategy. Success gives you pleasure just like drugs. And pleasure isn’t eternal. Happiness remains a choice, always.

Then on the death bed you will notice life was entirely a circle itself. Because you just came from the dust, you lived the entire circle and now you return back to the starting point- the dust itself.

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