We don’t know what makes us happy

She had curly hair with big eyes and thin body frame. Every Sunday she would come to take guitar lessons from me. She used to work in a MNC which she always hated.

After every session, we would talk about how life has changed after college. How life has become monotonous. Since, I was also working as a professor I shared the same vibes of boredom for my institution.

Since, her job was located outside Mumbai she would often say how she missed her hometown. Every weekend she would come in the city and she would curse how her job and job location sucked. She would often say how much she is looking forward for her contract to end and return to Mumbai for the job so that she could seek final happiness which she had fantasized.

It has been months since, we have met. That day when we happen to coincidentally talk again, I heard she has shifted back to Mumbai. She has got a job back in hometown with good pay and she is closer to her family. But, now she tells everyone how much she misses her previous location.

I want to call her stupid. But, I won’t. Because, in the end we all are stupid. And when all are stupid then who is stupid?

Pay a visit to a mental hospital and you would see that all patients treat each other as normal.

How we define being normal is different from how they define being normal. I am pretty sure when we visit a mental hospital they all must be laughing at us thinking we really need psychiatric treatment.

The thing is we don’t know what makes us happy. Just because you have a great IQ doesn’t imply you have a great EQ (Emotional quotient).

What is available to us always seems inferior. And we are always looking far away thinking how beautiful it is on the moon. So, you work hard to move away from the earth. You finally buy a space ship with all your hard earned money. Because, you think the conditions that will make you happy are much better on other bodies.

But, when you land up on the moon, you spend the few days in excitement and when you look back on to the earth, the earth looks so beautiful with all shades of green and blue; you wished you had never left that place.

This often happens in relationships. I had known a guy who had come to me for help. He was depressed, sad and anxious.

He told me “I was in a relationship with a girl for two years and soon got bored of her. So, I broke up with her because I felt, I wanted to explore life. She cried that night but, I was firm on my decision. And I broke up. I did all sorts of things I felt was restricted in relationship. Soon, the emptiness caved back and I was feeling alone than ever. Exploration wasn’t much of what he had expected. But, now when I asked her for getting back together again she denied me in a cold manner. I have realized, I love her so much. I want her back. What should I do? Tell me some psychological tricks!”

I didn’t comment on this. How could I help? I was pretty sure if he went back to her he would have gotten bored of her again.

Sometimes I do feel like not wanting to help humans. Because, human mind is cunning…sometimes intentionally or unintentionally.  And you don’t help the cunning. If you feed milk to snake, it’s still going to turn into poison.

I am no exception. I often want to run to the office when I am home. And when I am at office I want to run home. I at times take my parents for granted and ignore my friends. Is this what I am going to do all my life, I wonder.

I fall into the trap of being ungrateful. But, I have to make myself aware. They say the only thing you can love anything is to know that it could be lost.

Mental relativism is the most important thing you could teach to a child. Because, this is how he will stop looking for happiness by hopping from one place to another; or one person to another; or one job to another. If we could only differentiate between what is pleasure and what is happiness!

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  • Pranju Chakrapani

    Excellent post. I do agree with you. If only I knew how to differentiate between pleasure and happiness.


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