Experiences from the diary of solo traveller
Note: I carry a journal when I travel solo and write down in my journal whenever I feel connected with myself. These are few words from the pages of my journal.
I often wonder who will remember me after I die. I start to count on my fingers and I thought I will have to use my toes too. But, my fingers are still more than enough to accommodate the people I know who will seriously, recollect my name and ponder on the memories I shared with them.
But, they too have a life which will end soon and soon my identity will be perished forever.
They say the truth will set you free, but first it will make you suffer. And it did make me miserable at a certain point in my life to know the bitter truth, that I will be forgotten soon. The things I ploy with all my strength only to seek validity from the society doesn’t make sense at all. The decisions I take in my life only to please others amplifies the incompleteness within me.
Of course it’s a great value to live for others. But, unless you don’t know how to live for yourself, how can you decide for others. If you can’t contribute to your own experiences and become the driver of your own life, you are a mere weakling trying fill that void inside you. Infact, if you don’t help yourself first before helping others, you are more likely to damage the people you will help.
The more I travel solo the more I realize my identity is not at all important. The yes’s and no’s from other people around me make no sense. So, I have more importantly learnt to be deaf to any judgment. Although I didn’t say I am insensitive to it, I do ponder over it. But, in the end I do things which I feel are perfect for me.
Then when I have made a decision I don’t look back. Because,no decision is perfect for you. You can think and then take a decision. Perfect decision comes from the confidence and faith and not from the certainty. Because to tell anything is certain in future is a mistake.
As long as decision is concerned, you can’t overthink. Because overthinking is a synonym for mental confusion I believe.
Everyone rows their own boat. Some might say now I have a “I don’t care” attitude. Its not. Just because you start living for yourself doesn’t label you as a reckless personality. In the first instance in fact I was a reckless one where I was de-prioritizing my needs.
The fact about being a nice guy is that when you do something for others they won’t notice even a bit about you. The moment you take that attitude inwards and stop being a nice guy for others you wonder why the people around you have started calling you all sorts of names. These are the times when you know that to count the real people in your life you don’t need your toes.
Think about hundred years from now. You will be lost just like any other ant or a forest animal dies. The amount of ego you carry doesn’t serve you but, mostly serves others. Ego is not bad but it’s a wind you need to redirect so that the sail moves in the direction of your choice.
What then comes? Nothing. You die and perish forever just like your neighbor’s dog.
Understand the power of this. Know that you already existed. But, you came into this world through your parents. That was itself a gift. Sometimes even people who care for us don’t know what is right or wrong. Good intentions from their side are not enough to make sure your life goes fulfilled.
When someone asks me how they can go solo travelling, they expect me to tell travel tips all over the place of world. I just tell them that they are already travelling solo in this life. Just that we live under false assumptions that all the people around us are going to be with us forever. However lovely they might be, they will either drop away from your life or perish back to the earth.That was the second truth that set me free.
Being solo traveler is not a tag or a profession. It’s default state we already are in. Together, yet alone. And when you learn to sink in this bitter truth new doors of love, freedom and happiness open up which we thought never existed.